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iPad: 7 Self-Contradictions

By Tony Kontzer on 2010-04-08


Having sold 300,000 iPads on the first day of availability, Apple's reach into our cultural consciousness is getting deeper. There's a reason why: Apple's sleek design results in seductive devices that speak to our inner child. For anyone who's even the slightest bit interested in the latest technology, it's almost impossible to hold an Apple device and not want one. The iPad, from all accounts, is very much a continuation of the company's innate sense of what drives consumer desire.

But as any survey of early iPad reviews will indicate, the iPad is not all it's cracked up to be. It's a wildly hyped device that may prove to be a critical step in the evolution of computers, but it's too limited to have a profound impact on how work gets done, which is clearly what IT executives are most interested in.

In fact, it doesn't take much to poke holes in the iPad. All one has to do is read Apple's original press release on the device from Jan. 27. The language is, well, let's just say it's a bit out of touch with reality. What kind of self-contradictions are there? Let us inform you.


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What Apple says about the iPad: "Magical" What we say: This may be nitpicking, but any device that can't multitask sufficiently to let you monitor Facebook or Twitter while you check email is lacking in the magic category.

What Apple says about the iPad: "Revolutionary" What we say: Let's see-it works just like a combination of an iPhone and an iPod Touch, and can't match the productivity capabilities of a laptop. Yep, sounds revolutionary to us.

What Apple says about the iPad: "Entirely new category of devices" What we say: Hmmm. Funny, but we were under the impression that there already was a tablet market, and that one of the first entries was Apple's infamous Newton, nearly 20 years ago.

What the press release says about the iPad: "Intimate" What we say: Under no circumstances should the word "intimate" be used to describe any technological device. How intimate can a pile of metal and plastic and circuitry possibly be?

What Apple says about the iPad: "Unbelievable price" What we say: Let's see-a fully functioning laptop can be had for less than $1,000, Netbooks start at about $300, and an iPhone 3G runs $100. In comparison, the iPad's $499-$829 range seems quite believable. Some would even say excessive.

What Apple says about the iPad: "Environmentally responsible" What we say: Not to rain on the parade, but this seems a serious stretch in describing yet another device that customers eventually will discard and replace.

What Apple says about the iPad: "And" (as in, it can do this, this, this AND this) What we say: That whole lack-of-multitasking-abilities thing? It screams "or."

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